I hope it will not seem immodest when I say that this week’s batch of drawings might be my best effort to date. Somehow, in spite of long odds and utter lack of skill, I managed to capture the likenesses of these four blameless citizens with enough skill to convince a healthy portion of you to correctly guess their identities.
I consider it most likely that this is the result of some momentary fluke that will not be repeated. Which is to say, if you felt an uncommon comfort and ease while completing this week’s guesses, don’t get used to it.
Here’s where we started.
And who did you guess? Let’s see. Six of you concluded that I had drawn Hillary Clinton. That, alas, is not correct, though there is a sort of theme to this week’s subjects, and Hilary would have felt at home among them. Then there were several who guessed Annette Benning. Good try, but no.
I also did not draw:
- A sassy Brazilian politician of some sort?
- She looks very familiar. But I don’t know it. I’m going with Annie Lennox.
- Tilda Swinton
- Jeanine Pirro
- Holland Taylor
- Julie Andrews
- Former Attorney General Janet Reno
- Elizabeth Warren?
- Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada
- Jennifer Lawrence
- Christianne Amanpour
- A very young Joan Rivers?
- Wonky eyes, vaguely evil looking, I’m going with Carly Fiorina
- Nancy Pelosi?
- Nina Totenburg?
So many of you guessed politicians. How interesting! But, in this case, not quite right. This lady does her best to put politicians not at ease. Four of you blessed guessers correctly identified Megyn Kelly, including the person who offered the follow editorial assessment.
Megyn Kelly, based on the perfect rendering of her God-awful haircut
Now I have given you a clue, suggesting that a theme is in the offing. If only Robbi had been so helpful when she wrote the prompts.
Here was my next drawing.
And here are your guesses. In spite of my earlier bragging, plenty of you still strayed far afield of the correct answer. There were four of you who thought I had drawn Bernie Sanders.
But no. Nor was it:
- Homer Simpson
- I want to say Kasich, but I don’t think he wears glasses, so maybe Garrison Keilor
- Stephen Colbert
- Bill Gates
- Harry Stiles from 1 Direction
- Michael Bloomberg
- Weird neck-flap-collar guy or the guy from eharmony
- John Kasich (or my cousin Robert, in 20 years.)
- Wilford Brimley after weight loss Surgery
- George Will
- Michael Cain
- Bill Gates
- Dont know
- David Brooks, my least favorite NYT writer
- I’ll stick with a politician theme and guess John Boehner, even though I’m wrong
- John Chancellor or David Gergen
- is that John Green (vlogbrothers)
No no no. And no. Five of you got it right, though. And with such enthusiasm!
- Mitch McConnell!
- Deflated Mitch McConnell.
- Mitch McConnell. And don’t give Matthew grief on the chin – that’s all on Senator McConnell.
- If it’s gotta neck wattle it must be Mitch McConnell!
- The love child of Senator Mitch McConnell and Kermit the Frog
Next. I’m not sure I’ve ever been prouder of a drawing. Not only did I capture this fellow’s likeness passably well. But I feel I also invoked his essence, his being, his core.
And almost all of you agreed. With the part about the likeness, anyway. In fact, here the wrong answers were dwarfed by the correct ones.
The few of you who could not find your way through the darkness offered these guesses:
- Vincent Price
- No idea. Is he in that show about zombies?
- Oh dear. He’s very sick and unfortunate, whoever he is
- Talking Corn
I had not heard of Talking Corn, and so I googled it and came up with this little delight.
But back to business, most of you quickly sussed out the identity of this unfortunate visage, but it was the way in which you expressed yourselves that fills me with such delight. While some of you guessed “Donald Drumpf,” some others reached out and gave me a little gift, one I’m happy to share with every one of you.
- The Donald
- Of course, it’s the Drumpf!
- Donald Drumpf (Jeebus help us all)
- I know he is a winner and a deal maker, DONALD DRUMPF!
- Joseph Merrick impersonating Donald Drumpf
- Someone wearing a melting rubber Drumpf mask.
- Russian oligarch? Donald Drumpf?
- Cruella Deville
- Hipster Roy Schneider
The rest of you, in some way, shape, or form, correctly guessed that I had drawn the most certifiably badass member of the Supreme Court – most in a manner that speaks volumes regarding your feelings for her.
- Ruth Bader the Great
- The Notorious RBG in the hiz-ouse!
- RBG!! In da House (well, supreme court)
- Ruth Bader Ginsburg or RBG to those in the know
- RBJ, the baddest legal beeeesh
- Notorious RBG
- The Notorious RBG!!! Ruth Bader Ginsberg! Woot woot!
- Ruth Bader Ginsberg
- RBG in Da HOUZ!!!
- The Notrious RBG
- RBG aka The Greatest Human Being Ever
- Ruth Bader Ginsburg or is it Ruth Day-O’Connor Ginsburg?
- Notorious RBG (Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg)
Some of you even went out of your way to recognize my rare moment of passable visual representation. For that I thank you.
- Ruth Bader Ginsburg. That’s not a bad chin.
- EXCELLENT LIKENESS! This is Ruth Bader Ginsberg.
- Ruth Bader Ginsberg (OK, you are getting a lot better, Matt)
- RBG! I’m so impressed. You drew a truly recognizable woman!
And, indeed, drawing the ladies is not my strong suit. And yet, in this one instance…
As for my star rating, given the opportunity to quantify my skills or lack thereof, you folks gave me a collective 4.57! Which makes me wonder if it is time to hang up my Matthew Draws boots and call it a day.
But no! My work here is not done. And will not be done until I either 1) earn a perfect 5, 2) get hired by the National Portrait Gallery (and not just to work in their gift shop), or 3) have drawn every famous person in the history of time.
Which is to say, check back next Wednesday for more drawings.
But before we go, it is my pleasure to share my favorite responses
- Cruella. Because I want them to win and cruelty pays.
- RBG because she is straight up badass
- Ruth Bader Ginsburg because she’s a badass and a champion for women’s rights.
- Donald Drumpf, because he would teach them to win at any cost.
- Julie Andrews, because it would be done “in the most delightful way!”
- Pretty sure I’d get my bar license and communist membership card revoked if I didn’t say NOTORIOUS RBG.
- I feel like Hipster Roy Schneider would be firm yet encouraging to the team and help them learn soccer while regaling them with tales from the set of “Jaws”
Notorious RGB, because Notorious RGB.
- I doubt Ruth Bader Ginsburg understands soccer; George Will is all about baseball; and I don’t want the Donald anywhere near my 8-yr.-old daughter. So I have to go with Megyn Kelly.
- Ruth Bader Ginsberg for sure!! I’m sure she knows the rules
- Caroline Harvey says that she would gladly coach the soccer team. And unlike the presidency, a desire to serve is the first and foremost qualification for coaches of 8-yr-old soccer teams.
- RBG. She’s fair!
- Not the sick, unfortunate man. Maybe the young Joan Rivers because she would certainly have something to say about the uniforms.
- RBG for sure… feisty, empowering, about the same height… she’ll be great
- RBG. She is everything.
- Drumpf for entertainment on the sidelines
- RBG, obvs
- Sandra Day Ginsburg, of course.
- Notorious RBG because she is a gentle badass
And that, my friends, is that. Another Matthew Draws in the proverbial can. Before I take up my pen to draw the next batch, I will revel briefly in the surely short-lived glow of my relative success.
Please take a moment to appreciate that all-too-rare thrill you feel to have guessed a few correctly.