I drew. I did my best. You guessed. I presume you did your best as well, but friends, it wasn’t enough.
Here follows an accounting of your misbegotten efforts.
Here’s what I drew first. I took pride in this portrait. I think it is one of the least awful things I’ve drawn lately.
And yet, you collectively registered such far-flung conjectures as Jeff Goldblum. Bill Gates, Paul Allen, Tom Hanks, Colin Hanks, Noam Chomsky, Billy Crystal, Bernie Sanders, and “William Dafoe playing Fauci in a post-apocalyptic film about the end of the last race of humans before they mutated in the next evolution of humanoid.”
But many of you — SO MANY — correctly identified my drawing as being Dr. Anthony Fauci, or, as some of you put it:
- The man, the myth, the legend. America’s favorite immunologist, the one and only Dr. Anthony Fauci!
- Doc Fauci – the sensible one in the room.
- Fauci with the side eye!
- Someone still in the Drumpf Administration, judging by the worry lines all over his forehead.
- Antony Fauci trying to control his face during DJT’s briefings
Next I drew this. I felt not great about this drawing. I have regret, perhaps even shame. The subject deserved better, but I swear, I tried.
Let’s start with who I didn’t draw:
- That dude from Love Actually
- DRACULA
- Kirk Douglas
- John Waters
- Mick Jagger
- Christopher Walken
- Benicio Del Toro
- Willem Dafoe
- Raul Julia
- Bela Lugosi
- Benedict Cumberbatch? Or David Bowie
- Christopher Walken
- Robert Downey Junior!
- William Defoe
- WH Auden or Jorge Luis Borges
- Eugene O’Neill, playwright
- Lon Chaney jr
- Gov. Andrew Cuomo
- Christopher Walken
- Jack Nicholson
- Vincent Price
- Armand Frenjean
- Mr. Beeks, aka Paul Gleason
- Mayor Cuomo
- Milton Berle
- Michael J Fox in Teen Wolf
- Joe Biden
- Anthony Hopkins… or Dracula?
- William Dafoe
These other wrong answers filled me with delight, adding fuel to my determination to keep on drawing badly for all time.
- My mother in law
- Oh this is Jerry Stiller. Got it! I win!
- Yikes. Jamie Lee Curtis as an angel fish?
- Werewolf seems to be a good guess, but I’m going with Mickey Rourke
- Klaus Kinski upon discovering that the restaurant is out of the entree he’d ordered
- Liza Minnelli after two months of quarantine with no hair extensions, waxing, or Botox.
- Well it’s NOT Clint Eastwood
- Dame Judi Dench, but werewolfed
- Dame Judy Dench, you bastard!
But one. ONE! One glorious ONE of you correctly guessed “Maggie Smith as Professor McGonagall”
Which brings us to drawing #3. I don’t think I did so badly here. I mean, if I squint and tip my head sideways when not quite awake, I can kind of see the likeness to my source image. Kind of.
- Stephen King
- NEIL GAIMAN
- Slavoj Zizek
- Robert Downey Jr
- Jesse Tyler Ferguson
- Bob DeNiro
- Scraggly Bruce Springsteen?
- Benicio Del Toro, or some ghoulish spectre
- David Lee Roth after a night in jail
- Simon Cowell
- Oh! That guy that does the arty musicals with all complicated lyrics in them?
- Wolf blitzer
- John McEnroe
- Keith Richards
- Charles Bukowski
- Neil Pert, drummer from Rush
- John Krasinski
- Mandy Patinkin
- Neil Gaiman
- Keith Richards
- George Harrison
- Bruce Springsteen
- Robert Downey Jr
- David Letterman
- A middle aged Sean Connery
- Sondheim
I found these wrong answers quite pleasing/delightful/mildly upsetting.
- A highly intelligent writer man.
- Keith Richards wondering if the release of the Stones’ new album means they’ll have to go on tour AGAIN!
- Me by approximately 5:30 PM every day during Covid
- Bruce Springsteen crosses with a snub nosed monkey
- not a person at all either! but this ape is clearly related to Ernest Hemingway (sorry, apes)
- Oh god. This one is supposed to be obvious? I think what is obvious is that we know different celebrities. And why is a floating hand attacking his face?!? Clearly this is someone who missed his Botox because of the quarantine.
- I have no idea. But he should have gone to bed earlier last night.
- This is a good drawing. WTF is it doing HERE?
I am delighted to say that more than seven and fewer than nine people correctly identified my subject as Al Pacino.
And finally, this. Each week I try to draw one beautiful woman. Each week, the results are it is an unremitting tragedy. Please, someone who knows, why do I mangle the loveliest so? The question isn’t rhetorical.
There were quite a few votes for Catherine O’Hara. And I see it, I do. But no, friends no.
It also wasn’t:
- Renee Zellwiger
- Melania trump?
- BARBARA STREISAND
- Kellyanne Conway
- Courtney Cox
- Joan Rivers
- Madonna
- Kate McKinnon
- Phyllis Diller
- Barbara Streisand
- Christopher Walken
- Barbara Walters
- Cate Blanchett
- Glenn Close
- Tina Fey?
- Sarah Jessica Parker
- Glenn Close
- Paula Poundstone
- Kelley Ann Conway
- FLOTUS
- Sandra Bernhard
- Chelsea Handler
It also wasn’t:
- Christopher Walken playing Nancy Pelosi
- Shannon Doherty feeling very constipated.
- The Snell lady in the Netflix show Ozark discovering the shelves are wiped out of TP yet again
Not one single one of you guessed Rachel McAdams.
Do I blame you? I do not. The failure here is fully mine.
Friends, it is my intention to post four new drawings every Monday until I actually learn how to draw. Check back for more delight or despair, as the case may be.
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